Written by Malia Bell, Youth Educator

Prom season is right around the corner. For many teens, this can feel like a huge night. Most of us probably remember the excitement around dressing up, taking photos with friends, going to dinner, and dancing all night long.

For parents, prom can feel like a huge night for different reasons. Alongside the fun, there’s the reality of heightened emotions, alcohol, parties, and relationship pressure. That can make the night feel high-stakes, especially knowing that teenagers are still developing impulse control and decision-making skills.

That doesn’t mean teens are irresponsible or “bad.” It means they’re learning. And while parents can’t control every choice their child makes, they can create conditions that make safer choices more likely to happen.

One of the most important things you can do before prom is make it clear that safety matters more than punishment. Teens are far more likely to ask for help if they believe they’ll be met with support instead of anger or shame. A simple agreement like, “If you need me, I’ll come get you, no questions asked,” can make a huge difference. Remember that in the moment, the priority is getting everyone home safely.

It also helps to talk through plans ahead of time:

• Where will they be before and after prom?
• How are they getting to and from prom or after-parties?
• How are they getting home?
• Who will they be with?
• What would they do if a friend became too intoxicated?
• Who can they call if plans change unexpectedly?

These conversations tend to go better when they feel collaborative rather than interrogative. You don’t need to be your child’s “best friend” in these moments; you just need to stay open, calm, and curious.

Prom can bring relationship pressure to the surface. Cultural messaging often frames prom as a night tied to romance, sex, or having a “perfect” experience, and teens may internalize the idea that the night has to be dramatic or unforgettable to matter.

This pressure can show up in subtle ways. Sometimes teens feel pressure from peers, social media, or within relationships themselves. There’s also a harmful idea that expensive dates, promposals, tickets, or outfits create some kind of obligation. They don’t. No one is owed physical affection, intimacy, or sex because they spent money or planned a special evening.

At the same time, it’s important to acknowledge that many teenagers are naturally curious about sex and relationships. That’s developmentally normal. So, it is important to consider that teenagers may want to explore sex. The key here is helping them understand consent, boundaries, and how to make decisions free from pressure or coercion.

Many of the teens I have worked with can recite the “FRIES” acronym for consent, but it’s equally important that they understand what those ideas look like in real situations. What does it mean that consent is reversible? Would they feel comfortable changing their mind partway through a sexual encounter? Could they recognize emotional pressure if it happened to them or a friend?

Not all unsafe situations look obvious. Coercion can also look like:

• guilt-tripping after someone says no
• repeatedly pressuring someone who has already said no
• using money spent on prom to create guilt
• encouraging excessive drinking to lower inhibitions
• emotional manipulation disguised as affection

So how can you, as a parent or caregiver, actually help? One of the most valuable things parents can offer is a trusted relationship. Teens are more likely to make safer decisions, and ask for help when they need it, if they know they can talk honestly without fear of being shamed or immediately punished. Instead of trying to “catch” teens doing something wrong, focus on helping them think through situations ahead of time.

It’s also important to normalize leaving uncomfortable situations. Teens should know they never have to stay somewhere that feels unsafe just because they agreed to go, accepted a ride, or worried about disappointing someone. Encouraging group accountability can help too: checking in on isolated friends, staying together, and making sure nobody vulnerable gets left behind.

Even with preparation, difficult situations can still happen. If they do, the first priority should always be safety and support; whether that means getting medical care, making sure a teen gets home safely, or listening calmly before reacting. If a teen discloses assault, coercion, or another unsafe experience, responding without blame can make an enormous difference in whether they continue to seek help and support.

Prom should ultimately be a celebration. Parents may not be able to control every decision their teenager makes, but they can create an environment where teens feel informed, respected, and supported. Often, the strongest safety tool for teens isn’t strict control but instead is knowing there’s a trusted adult they can call when something doesn’t go according to plan.